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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

He Won't Stay Off Dating Sites - She Won't Stop Complaining

So the two of you have sat down and made a New Year's Resolution that this year will be different.  He will stop the online flirting and you will stop the constant bitching.  But many times have you had this conversation and made these promises to each other in the past?

You only argue because he's online flirting with other women and he's online flirting with other women because you constantly argue - there's a big problem here and there's only one thing to do - let it go...

You see if someone does something that you don't like, you bring it to their attention through an adult, non-confrontational manner and they continue to do it, guess what?  They don't care about your feelings.

The truth is some people use the internet as a form of entertainment.  They flirt online, tell them lies (basically things they want to hear), and they send them provocative pictures.  Now they're stimulated and amped up because someone is showing some interest in them and there's no arguing.  Some people don't realize that it's just a fantasy, the the person on the other end of the conversation is telling those same lies, but some are truly sincere and end up heartbroken when they realize the person is not the person they thought they met. Either way, it's not good.

Now this doesn't mean that they don't find you appealing or that they no longer want you. What is means it that they're using this as an outlet or telling lies to feel better about themselves, which is true in most cases.  Telling someone they have the corporate job, the BMW, the Benz, they nice house, and of course that picture in their best outfit to show the world how well dressed they are.  What they don't mention is that it's their one and only suit  the he owns (and the picture was taken on the way to a funeral) or that little black dress (that looks fantastic on her) but it belongs to her friend.

Perhaps they are not the type that is happy with one person or maybe they get online and make up stories to portray themselves as someone else because they know that 1) the person will never find out the truth, or 2) they know they will never be the person they are portraying themselves to be, or 3) perhaps they're just bored as hell because you're off doing your own thing.

In some cases it doesn't mean anything to them.  Yeah, it's fun and exciting to meet someone and chit-chat with them, and even exchange pics, but they're not interested in them; they're just passing the time away. Right or wrong it is what it is.

Maybe you need to step up your game, show your partner a little more attention, and they won't have time for the internet.  Or maybe, just maybe, you have one of those partners that it doesn't matter what you do, they're still going to go online whether you like it or not.  If that's the case, you're fighting a losing battle.

The bottom line is if you are having the same arguments about the same things that you argued about last year, the year before, and even throughout your relationship, maybe it's time to let it go.  Maybe the two of you just aren't right for each other.  It decision making time!

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