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Monday, July 1, 2013

Knowing When It's Time to Call It Quits



Every relationship has its ups and downs - it's part of life, but knowing when it's time to call it quits, is key to letting go, moving on, and finding true happiness. Sometimes there is no mending a broken relationship and there is nothing left to do but throw in the towel. When you first meet someone and you click, everything is wonderful isn't it? You both are on your best behavior; doing and saying all the right things, being careful not to show that "other side," too soon. After all, you don't want to ruin what could be a potential good thing, right? Well, after dating for a while, you start to see little things that make you go "Hmmm, is this person right for me." I'm not talking about the normal flaws and little quirks that we all have like the oh so common leaving the toilet seat up/down, or maybe leaving a dish or two in the sink, but the things that really make you wonder, "Is this how this person really is?" The first thought is to overlook it, and you do until an argument erupts and then you let them have it - and all the things you've been storing in your brain flow ever so freely like water going downstream. Wow, that felt good to let them know how you really feel about them, but wait - you're not an innocent party here. What about your flaws? When they "tell you about yourself," now you're upset, feeling real bitter about the whole situation. "How dare they try to tell me about me when they have this, this, and this going on with them." Sometimes you're able to make up and talk it out, and if you do and the person makes a conscious effort not to do the things that bother you, then perhaps you might have a keeper. On the other hand, if after day two or three, the same things are occurring, well, now it's time to re-evaluate the situation. Now remember your flaws, too. After all, you can't call out your partner's flaws and expect them to correct them if you're not making a conscious effort to do the same. It's not fair, right? They say, "All is fair in love and war," but not when you're trying to build a life with someone. If you cannot manage the simple things, how on earth can you deal with any major issues that may come your way - and they will sooner or later. So the question is do you stay or do you call it quits? Well, it is not that easy, especially if you've been in a long-term relationship. But here are some things to evaluate to help you make your decision: 1. Do they show you love and respect despite your rants about their faults? 2. Do they contribute their thoughts, feelings, and solutions to the relationship, and how it could be better? 3. Do they make an effort to minimize the things they do that make you upset or angry? 4. Are the two of you a team - if you live together are you both contributing, do you make decisions together? 5. Has he/she strayed during the relationship? 6. Is there a third party involved that they cannot control, i.e. (baby mama/baby daddy issues)? 7. Are you making an effort to improve the relationship or is it all about their "not so perfect" actions? Of course, each situation is different, but if there comes a time when everything your partner says or does gets on your last nerve - even when they're trying to make you happy, this is when you need to question whether you need to be in this relationship. Do you have your eye on someone else, or has an old friend or flame getting more and more of your time? Not that you're doing anything wrong, but you find is easier to talk to that person or you feel more comfortable with that person? This is when you need to think about your future. At the end of the day, your happiness is all that matters and if you can't be happy with your current relationship, why waste each other's time? Life it too short to be unhappy. Sometimes, it's more than knowing when to call it quits - it's acting on it and moving forward. Sure it will hurt, but you will be happier once you get over the pain of not having that person who you once loved in your life. They say there is someone for everyone. If this is not your "someone special," there is someone out there for you. It often takes time to find that "right" one, and sometimes you have to go through some bad seeds or Mr./Mrs. Wrong before you get to that Mr./Mrs. Right. For more articles written by this author, visit: Ezine Articles Expert - http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kimberly_Best

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